As mother's day approaches I enjoy reflecting on my journey into motherhood and where it has taken me thus far. I have always known I wanted to be a mother. I probably knew that because of the great examples I had in my life. My mother is such an amazing woman and it’s because of her that I have gotten to where I am today. She was and still is a great mother and I hope I can be half the mother she was. I know how blessed I am to have had such a wonderful role model to look to for advise and lean on in times of need.
I will be the first to admit how hard it is to be a mother but I also know how blessed I am to have three gifts from God and they do remind daily. I started my journey into being a mother as one sick puppy. Morning sickness all day everyday for almost the whole pregnancy! Then if that were not bad enough I had to labor and then push a baby through a small opening in my body. I look back and laugh now because I had no idea I had even gone into labor. My water broke but i thought I had just peed my pants, as that happens more often than anyone would like to admit. I do count my blessings as my labor with Bianca start to finish was only 7 hours and I only had to push three times before she slipped out but it was still a difficult task. All the pain and sleepless nights were so worth it as I grabbed that little slippery body as she came out and put her onto my chest and saw my baby for the first time. Those emotions are so indescribable, but the happiest I've ever been in my whole life, maybe part of that is because you know you are done :)
I remember taking our first picture after she was born. I had gotten up early that day like around 5 am and didn’t go into labor until 7 pm and gave birth at 2 am the following am so I was tired. I remember feeling like I was grinning ear to ear but after reviewing the pictures...not sure you could even call it a smile... Since that day sleep has never been the same. With a new born you are up every 2 hours to feed and change them and even when they do start to sleep longer you start to worry that they have slept that long and you are still not sleeping. I still wake up one to three times a night to go and check on all of my children. I do the classic head tilt to watch their chest or back rise and fall with rhythmic breathing. If I can’t tell I stick my finger next to their nose to feel the warm air.
As Bianca gets closer and closer to going to school my fears become increasingly more frequent in my mind. Up to this point I have been able to "control" the things that happen. I'm the one driving the car, I'm the one taking her to the zoo, and I’m the one who is teaching her right and wrong. Once she goes to school this will no longer be the case. All the “what if’s” begin to creep up in my mind, because just like my mother I'm a worry wart. I blame the TV for part of my issues there because I watch all the terrible stories of kidnappings and ER stories, but raising children is still a scary thing.
I have just begun my journey as I'm only 4 years into it but the truth is that I am having a blast and can’t wait to see what is around the corner. We experience new things everyday and to watch them learn and grow is so satisfying. I'm so thankful that I have been given the opportunity to partake in my children’s lives and that I will forever be a mother :)
As mother's day approaches I enjoy reflecting on my journey into motherhood and where it has taken me thus far. I have always known I wanted to be a mother. I probably knew that because of the great examples I had in my life. My mother is such an amazing woman and it’s because of her that I have gotten to where I am today. She was and still is a great mother and I hope I can be half the mother she was. I know how blessed I am to have had such a wonderful role model to look to for advise and lean on in times of need.
I will be the first to admit how hard it is to be a mother but I also know how blessed I am to have three gifts from God and they do remind daily. I started my journey into being a mother as one sick puppy. Morning sickness all day everyday for almost the whole pregnancy! Then if that were not bad enough I had to labor and then push a baby through a small opening in my body. I look back and laugh now because I had no idea I had even gone into labor. My water broke but i thought I had just peed my pants, as that happens more often than anyone would like to admit. I do count my blessings as my labor with Bianca start to finish was only 7 hours and I only had to push three times before she slipped out but it was still a difficult task. All the pain and sleepless nights were so worth it as I grabbed that little slippery body as she came out and put her onto my chest and saw my baby for the first time. Those emotions are so indescribable, but the happiest I've ever been in my whole life, maybe part of that is because you know you are done :)
I remember taking our first picture after she was born. I had gotten up early that day like around 5 am and didn’t go into labor until 7 pm and gave birth at 2 am the following am so I was tired. I remember feeling like I was grinning ear to ear but after reviewing the pictures...not sure you could even call it a smile... Since that day sleep has never been the same. With a new born you are up every 2 hours to feed and change them and even when they do start to sleep longer you start to worry that they have slept that long and you are still not sleeping. I still wake up one to three times a night to go and check on all of my children. I do the classic head tilt to watch their chest or back rise and fall with rhythmic breathing. If I can’t tell I stick my finger next to their nose to feel the warm air.
As Bianca gets closer and closer to going to school my fears become increasingly more frequent in my mind. Up to this point I have been able to "control" the things that happen. I'm the one driving the car, I'm the one taking her to the zoo, and I’m the one who is teaching her right and wrong. Once she goes to school this will no longer be the case. All the “what if’s” begin to creep up in my mind, because just like my mother I'm a worry wart. I blame the TV for part of my issues there because I watch all the terrible stories of kidnappings and ER stories, but raising children is still a scary thing.
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