School Days

Well after much anticipation and anxiety we made it through the first day of school! 

For months Bianca has been waiting for this day.   She had to have asked me over 100 times since May when her first day of school was; and now we can say it was August 19^th, 2011.  Class of 2025!  That seems so far off but really so did school just a short 4 years ago when I held her for the first time in my arms and looked into her beautiful face and knew my life had forever been changed for the better.

Yesterday was our last day of “summer” before school started so we made an event of it and started with a trip to the zoo.  We love the zoo!  No matter how many times you go you always see something different.  On this trip we got to see two turtles fighting (Paisley called it kissing), the panther, got snuck up on by the puma, and no one got a cactus needle stuck in their hand or mouth.  After we had traveled the zoo we went home for lunch and naps.  After naps we got into our swim suits and enjoyed some good old past times in the sprinkler in our yard.  If that were not enough we then headed to Jimmy Johns (Bianca’s request) for dinner then back home again for a good old dance party to the movie Rio.  BJ got home from his two week stay in Mexico just before the kids all headed to bed.

In the morning of first day of school, we all had a hearty breakfast of bacon and eggs and strawberries before brushing hair and teeth and getting dressed.  I then took the camera out to start our snap shot flurry began.  I took lots of pictures; pictures of us getting ready, pictures of us outside, inside, by the car, in the school and one last one of her as she disappeared into her class room.  She was so excited to finally be going to school!  She quickly gave BJ and me a hug and a kiss walked straight up to her teacher and announced that she had a lot of things in her back pack then walked in and that was it.  I was proud of myself.  I had not cried yet and even managed to talk to the teacher with a large ball welling up in my throat. 

 As soon as Bianca disappeared in her new classroom Paisley tried to run after her but was quickly stopped by BJ and we tried to exit.  That’s when Paisley lost it.  She got to do what I so badly had wanted to do.  She cried and let the tears fall.  I’m not sure if she was crying because she was going to miss Bianca and didn’t understand why we were leaving without her or if it was because she had wanted to go with Bianca and was upset she was not being left behind too.  Either way she was terribly upset and cried the whole way back to the car and the whole trip home.  To try to distract her I gave her a chocolate kiss and headed to Wal-Mart where she too got her very own mini backpack.

The Wal-Mart trip was a distraction for me as well.  Up until this point I have very rarely been separated from one of my children.  To make matters worse I’m a hard core worry wart who thinks of every worse case scenario out there.  What if there is a tornado, what if she gets lost or there is a mean kid picking on her, or she gets hurt at school, or she needs her asthma meds and no one knows, or she gets a hold of a kiwi and there is no epi pen…or the worst….she likes her teacher better than me.  Yes, I know…most of those things will never happen but it’s the fear of not being able to protect your child, the very thing that is instinctual for every mother, which is the hard part.  This is the first step of letting go… letting her go and experience the world for herself.  I’m selfish and want to keep this glorious gift all to myself.  But on the other hand I know she will make this world a better place for so many and I would be wrong not to share her.

When it was time to pick her up, Paisley and I went and waited outside for her.  She came out of her school in line with all the other little pint sized children and was glowing with excitement from all the fun she had had that day.  When her teacher released her to us Bianca and Paisley hugged each other for a good 30 seconds as if to say, I missed you so much and I’m glad we are ok.  One of the sweetest moments I have gotten to witness.  I’m so blessed and glad that we all survived the first day of school!

Changes

Life is full of changes and they are inevitable.  Some changes are welcomed and others are more difficult to adjust to.  Our life has seemed to be full of changes recently, some easier to welcome that others.

A welcomed change was Gage’s mobility.  He is now up and moving and chasing after his big sisters.  He beat the girls and walked before 13 months where as both girls didn’t walk until after 14 months.  He took no time to start digging into things such as cupboards and drawers and closets J  I love watching him walk.  He looks like a drunken goose with his chest all puffed out and his staggered waddle.  He has become quite the dancer too as he and his sisters all rock out to movies like Rio and Veggie Tales.  He has become quite vocal in the last couple of months as well.  He likes to scream at the top of his lungs and I can’t blame him as it’s hard to get a word in with his two gabby sisters.  He is up to 6 teeth now.  He got his bottom two then his “vampire” teeth and now his two front teeth are on their way in.  There have been a few sleepless nights where Gage and I have fallen asleep on the couch or rocking chair but like everything else it’s a phase that will pass and new changes will come.

Another welcomed change is the beginning stages of potty training Paisley.  I decided I had better start when she started trying to wear Bianca’s big girl panties.  She was wearing them as belts and hats J  I look back at Paisley before Gage was born and she was such a quiet and shy baby and part of that could have been from her staph infection that we didn’t know she had, but she has become such a different little girl in the last year.  Now she is my spunky and spirited little girl.  I will admit I’m a little fearful about what her teenage years will bring, but I hope and pray she will always be as confident and spirited as she is now.

Biggest change and hardest one for me to accept is the beginning of school.  I’m still in disbelief that Bianca heads to school for the first time on Friday.  Part of me is sad.  I have to share her with the rest of the world now and won’t get to spend all day with her anymore.  I hate that I will miss some of the funny things she says and does and that my super star status with her will now be shared with her teacher.  I worry that kids will be mean and she will learn what the world is really like and have her heart broken.  But I also know how much fun she will have meeting new friends and getting to learn and experience new things.  It will also give me a little bit more time to spend with Gage and Paisley while she is at school.  I’m thankful that BJ gets back from Mexico Thursday night and took Friday off so I can have a shoulder to cry on when I drop her off.  It’s only a half day for preschool so I will only miss her for three hours a day but at the same time she will be in school from now on and our days will be just a little different. 

Changes are part of life and always will be so it’s best to just accept them and make the best of everything.  In the end God knows what he is doing and things will turn out for the best.